some good conversations with friends lately.
thanks to chris and mike.
there's few people i know that i feel can relate to my current state of mind and truely challenge me to think about things in ways i hadn't before.

thinking more about what to do with life.
common themes in this blog, restated:

1) there is no purpose to live for.
so life should be for maximum enjoyment.

2) is living life for enjoyment a waste?
is there work to be done? helping others live better?

3) will the fact that i'm vegan and environmental matter in 1,000,000 years when earth doesn't exist anymore?
why try and save anything?

4) so i give in to my love of music.
is that selfish?

5) i justify my pursuit of music and record label as a way to create community, and to foster the exchange of ideas and and i suppose curse people with this meaningless, godless, reproductionless state that i'm so afflicted with, so that we may, together, find a reason for being.

talking to chris brought up some excellent points about how even more immediately my concern for the environment would be made insignificant. where i'm all "stars and planets and eventual collision," he's all "over population and unsustainability."
and its true. even if we create a totally environmentally friendly way of creating energy and traveling, there will still be nearly 7 billion people on this planet.
how is it possible to make the existence of 1 race, which is ubiquitous on this planet, sustainable for the rest of living things?

balloons popped. parade rained out.

i miss my friend rachel.
maybe she'll have some good insights for me. though i think she may want kids, which gives her life purpose and she may not have anything for me.
this blog is becoming a journal of my quest to find something valid to expend my life on.
but lately, intellectualism is the reason.